Father

What is a father?

When you are young, you slip your feet into his shoes and marvel at how enormous they seem compared to yours.
You put on his glasses and feel wiser, older.

You wear his shirt and feel wrapped in something grand, something larger than your small world.

A simple thought crosses your mind, a small wish, and you ask for it without hesitation. He accepts with joy, giving you what you asked for.

He comes home tired, carrying the weight of a day you cannot imagine, yet he lifts you into his arms with laughter. You never see the exhaustion behind his smile, or the quiet sacrifices hidden in his silence.

And now, as an adult, you no longer wear his shoes. His taste feels outdated to you. His clothes, his habits, even his intentions seem old-fashioned. His questions feel like interference. His concern feels like pressure. His presence, at times, feels like an inconvenience.

His movements embarrass you. His words make you uncomfortable.

If you come home late and he worries, if he asks you out of fear, you feel annoyed. You wish he would give you more space, more freedom, not realizing that all he wants is to make sure you are safe.

You raise your voice. You speak with coldness. He stays quiet, not because he fears you, but because he loves you.

You have grown taller than him. And when he walks beside you now with a bent back, you do not reach for his hand. Not long ago, you were the one stumbling over words, mixing letters, and he laughed softly, accepting every mistake with warmth.

Today, you grow impatient with his repeated questions, his forgetfulness, his fading hearing and sight. He never wished harm upon you, not when you were a child, not now, not ever. Yet you, in moments of frustration, find yourself wishing he would simply stop being a burden.

You struggle with his presence, and he struggles with your distance.

He tolerated you through your childhood, your ignorance, your stubbornness, your jealousy, your failures, your laziness, your confusion, your growing pains. He tolerated you in everything. Yet, have you ever stopped to consider tolerating him, in his weakness, in his illness, in his humanity? If he bore you, can you not bear his weakness too?